Now valentines day has never been my favorite holiday, not because i'm against the concept of love or anything, it just feels a little forced and oddly surreal that everybody is so in love on that particular day. Unless you are alone, in which case i am deeply sorry for you. It also might be the fact that it has become just another way for companies to make money (see also Christmas and Easter). But i have to admit that those corporates quite often amuse me by being so bizarrely creative. To celebrate their creativity i have comprised a top ten list of some of my favorite gifts for this valentines day.
TwoDaLoo twin toilet
Now i don't care how comfortable you are with each other in your relationship, but this just seems...wrong. But i guess if you want to take your relationship to the next step this could be just what you need. This twin porcelain love throne will set you back a mere $1400.
Ho Flask
Nothing shows how much you love your "ho" than a flask that tells her exactly where she stands. If you want to really treat her you can even fill it up with her favorite drink to really get her in the mood. The Ho flask costs $18.
The Chocolate Scale
Tell your valentine exactly what you think of her with this little gift. It's supposed to "lighten the mood" but i'm sure that the mood will be scaled (clever) down quite a bit after this is torn open. The chocolate scale costs $95
Boyfriend pillow
This one is perfect for those needy types. This cuddlebuddy is more than happy to fill the emptiness while you are away. You can even dress him up like you to comfort her even more. Just don't let him/her get too attached to it or you might get replaced. Cost $34,95.
My Beating Heart pillow
This is one to cure the heartache when you're away. The pillow reproduces the sound of a heartbeat when you hug it and it even syncs with your heartbeat. Kind of reminds me of putting a watch next to a puppy to remind him of his mother. To ease the longing, fork out $49,99.
Glow-in-the-dark roses
Want to remind your lover how much you care about him/her even when the lights go out? How about ordering these extra-terrestrial flowers from the netherlands. The roses are sprayed with a harmless chemical to make them glow. You have to special order these, but they'll cost you around $39.90.
8-Bit Dynamic Life shirt
So this is how it works. You wear one and give the other to your partner. Whenever you two are in range the pixellated hearts start glowing to full charge which means your partner is close by and you can go give them a big hug. If you are further than 5 meters away the glowing hearts dip to two and a half. Getting your nerd on will cost you $24,99 per tee shirt.
Two Handed HandHuggers
Have you ever wished that you and your partner could be joined by the hip? Well now it's possible with the two handed mitten. Watch as passers by smile uncontrollably at the sight of your love for one another. Cost $9,95 or you can go all the way and get the stretchy combo glove for $11,95.
Jewelry made from your own bones
Yep, gone are the days of giving your loved ones jewelry made from plain old animal bones. All you need to do is provide them a bone sample (a small sacrifice right?) from your body and thats it. They will simply grow another bone using your tissue and then carve and shape it into a ring. Now it's not possible to give you the exact amount as it differs to what you want. It just screams "i love you" in that warm, creepy kind of way.
Fireplace: Visions of Tranquility Blu-Ray disk
Now this is by far my favorite because it's so sad. Picture a loving couple sitting right in front of their television underneath a blanket drinking a glass of wine. It doesn't get more romantic than that. The fire won't keep you warm, but atleast you have each other. This gem will cost you $14,49.
Some Interesting Valentines day facts
The roots of St. Valentine's Day can be traced back to the Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and would then keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year.
Penicillin, a popular treatment for venereal diseases such as syphilis, was introduced to the world on February 14, 1929.
15 percent of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day.
The Ivory Coast is the world's largest producer of cocoa, the main ingredient in chocolate. In 2001, the U.S. State Department reported child slavery on many cocoa farms in the Ivory Coast. A 2002 report from the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture estimated there were 284,000 children working on cocoa farms in hazardous conditions.
Happy Valentines Day
The Ivory Coast is the world's largest producer of cocoa, the main ingredient in chocolate. In 2001, the U.S. State Department reported child slavery on many cocoa farms in the Ivory Coast. A 2002 report from the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture estimated there were 284,000 children working on cocoa farms in hazardous conditions.
Happy Valentines Day
